I started thinking about all of the women that I?ve heard talk about how they didn?t want to get involved with a man because she didn?t want to ruin the friendship.? That doesn?t make any sense to me.? When I hear people say that, I tend to think that they are either not physically attracted to the person and are afraid to hurt their feelings, or they are not very comfortable with their own relationship skills.
I like to think that my lover is my best friend.? To me, my significant other should be the one that I share things with, enjoy doing things with and is my rock when things are getting tough.? My friends know more about men than someone I just meet and take the time to understand my quirky ways.? If a woman has a man in her life that does all of those things, why would she not want him as her lover?
Every relationship has the possibility of ending, be it a friendship or a romantic relationship. I think that so many women have been involved in bad relationships (I know men have too but I?m a woman and speaking from my own point of view), that it is easier to keep a guy in the friend zone.? See, if a man stays in the friend zone, a woman has the benefit of his company, his emotional support and consistent approval, without having to take the emotional risk that comes with being in a romantic relationship.
What tends to happen is, woman keep a guy in the friend zone, date some jackass that breaks her heart and then goes back to the friend zone to have him pick up the pieces.? I think that not only sounds selfish, but I also think that part of the reason the heart got broken is that the man she was dating didn?t respect the relationship the same way that the man in the friend zone does.? If this sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too, then that sounds just about right.
I am not saying that men and women cannot be friends, they can, they are plenty of men and women who are friends where neither of them is interested in the other romantically, and if that is the case then the above doesn?t apply.? I also know people who have maintained a platonic relationship with exes; I attribute that to the previous romantic relationship being built on a friendship.
I would say to the women that have men hovering around in the friend zone that you should take some time to evaluate the real reason that you keep those ?nice guys? in the friend zone.? Maybe the nice guy is not what you want; it?s what you think you want.
Oh and ladies, if a man is not physically attractive to you, just tell him. ?No, don?t come out and say that he?s ugly or whatever, but respect your friend by telling him the truth, you are not romantically interested in him. ?Let?s retire that lame ?I don?t want to ruin the relationship? madness, that phrase is right up there with ?it?s not you, it?s me?.
There was a song that once asked the magic question ?how can we be lovers if we can?t be friends??? Well?
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Source: http://stangzine.info/a-few-thoughts-about-the-friend-zone/
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